


That's Gross

by flazy2



Series: Shameless One Shots [4]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Funny, Gen, Gross, Humor, Mickey is a germaphobe, discussions of personal hygiene habits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-11
Updated: 2014-12-11
Packaged: 2018-03-01 01:16:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2754128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flazy2/pseuds/flazy2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You kissed me last night after I literally had my tongue in your ass, but <em>this</em> is too much for you?” He tries, and fails, to suppress a smile; his boyfriend is acting ridiculous and he will take any opportunity to make fun of him for it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That's Gross

Mickey stretches his limbs as he wakes up to the sunlight streaming in through the window. He feels the bed around him to find that Ian has already gotten up, probably out for his morning run. He loves his boyfriend, but the only way Mickey wants to see 7am is if the house is on fire, and even then only if his room is in danger of going up next. 

He gets out of bed and puts on a pair of boxers and a clean looking shirt off the floor. He makes his way out of the bedroom, stopping to relieve himself in the bathroom before walking into the kitchen. He looks at the clock on the microwave, _8:15am_ , Ian would be back from his run soon, so Mickey begins making breakfast for himself and Ian. 

Just as he is cracking the eggs into a bowl, the front door opens and Ian walks in, glistening with sweat. 

“Morning,” the redhead greets as he walks into the kitchen to give his boyfriend a kiss. He watches the smaller boy beating the eggs with a fork, “I’m gonna take shower, okay?” 

“Hurry up, it ain’t gonna stay hot for long,” he says, pointing his head at the bowl. 

Ian rolls his eyes and makes his way into the bathroom leaving Mickey to finish up breakfast. 

Mickey is plating up the toast and eggs just as Ian walks in wearing fresh clothes, his hair still a little damp. Ian takes a seat and Mickey places one plate in front of him and the other in front of his own chair. 

“Aw, look at you, making me breakfast, _you’re so sweet_ ," Ian says the last part in a mock baby voice. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m your bitch,” Mickey says with a sigh. 

“No,” the redhead says, reaching over to hold Mickey’s hand and smiling at him, “You’re my boyfriend.” 

He stretches over the table to lean down and give Mickey a kiss, one hand on the dark-haired boy’s neck. He pulls back as he feels Mickey trying to deepen the kiss, sure he loves his boyfriend, but there is food to be eaten. 

Ian leans back in his chair and picks up his fork, stabbing a few pieces of eggs with it. He had just lifted the fork to his mouth when Mickey spoke, “Wait, did you brush your teeth?” 

“Uh, yeah?” he replies quizzically, furrowing his brows in confusion. “Why?” 

“Did you use my toothbrush?!” Mickey exclaims with an odd look on his face. 

Ian still doesn't get it, “Yeah… why?” 

“That’s gross!” Mickey practically shouts, “Why would you do that?!” 

“Wait, is this seriously bothering you?” Ian asks, cocking an eyebrow. 

“Yes!” Mickey says. 

“Why? How is it gross?” 

“I don’t want to put your mouth germs in my mouth, it’s disgusting.” Mickey says, attempting to defend himself, because he is grossed the hell out right now, even if it is at his hot boyfriend. 

Ian looks exasperated at the other boy, “You kissed me last night after I literally had my tongue in your ass, but _this_ is too much for you?” He tries, and fails, to suppress a smile; his boyfriend is acting ridiculous and he will take any opportunity to make fun of him for it. 

“That’s- That’s different.” He looks down at the table, embarrassed, “It doesn’t count when it’s in the middle of sex.” 

It’s at that moment that Mandy walks into the kitchen, “What doesn’t count?” she asks, making her way over to Ian and taking a bite out of his toast. 

Ian looks over at Mickey, he decides to stem _that_ part of the conversation and changes the topic back to their previous discussion. “Mickey's being weird about the fact that I use his toothbrush, what do you think?” 

She swallows before responding, “Eh, it’s not like you haven’t had your mouth in worse places.” 

“THANK YOU!” Ian responds, looking over at Mickey, irritation and anger clear on his face, no doubt feeling like he’s being ganged up on. 

“If you wanna talk about weird, how about the fact that he keeps his toothbrush in his bedroom,” she muses. 

Mickey furrows his eyebrows, “Uh, no I don’t, I keep it in the bathroom.” 

Now Mandy’s the one to look confused. “No, I keep _mine_ in the bathroom, and mine’s the only one in there, the blue one.” 

“No, I bought that toothbrush a few weeks ago.” Mickey replies. 

The moment Mickey and Mandy realize, their faces both mirror a look of disgust. 

“Oh my god,” the two siblings exclaim simultaneously. 

Ian cannot stop himself from laughing. He looks over at his boyfriend who looks like he’s ready to vomit his guts out. Mickey pushes his plate away from him, his appetite completely gone. 

Upon hearing Ian’s laughter, and the two Milkovich siblings yelling, Lip makes his way out of Mandy’s room to join the others in the kitchen. “What's going on?” he asks around a yawn. 

“Mickey- “ Ian barely gets out between laughs “and Mandy” he has to pause to take a breath, “they’ve been using the same toothbrush for _weeks_ and they didn’t know it!” He uses the back of his hand to wipe tears from his eyes; this is seriously fucking gold. 

“Oh god, imagine where his _mouth’s_ been, Mandy!” he jokes, he too let’s out a few chuckles at the siblings' expressions. He turns to Mickey, “and where _hers_ has been!” He punctuates the statement with his fingers, pointing at his own crotch.

“Ha ha, laugh it up asshole, but I know for a fact that when you’ve stayed over you’ve used my toothbrush,” she says with an evil smirk; if she has to suffer, she's taking everyone with her. Lip visibly pales at the accusation, “Not so funny now, is it?” 

Mickey gags at the thought, this is just too fucking much. One redheaded asshole, _maybe_ , but his sister and the other asshole, no fucking way.

He pushes his chair out and makes his way to the bedroom, slamming the door in the process. He reaches the dresser in the corner of the room and grabs the bottle of Jack Daniels that’s been sitting there for a few days. He takes a large swig from the bottle and swishes it around in his mouth, Kesha style. Picking up an empty water bottle that had ended up on the floor who knows how long ago, he spits the liquor into it, capping the bottle and throwing it back on the floor. 

He dresses quickly, determined to get to the Albi for work, while avoiding the rest of the people in the house. 

Only an hour in and he is so fucking done with the day. 

  


* * *

  


The next morning, Mickey wakes up with Ian’s arms wrapped tightly around him. It’s one of his favorite parts about the weekend, the fact that Ian sleeps in, instead of leaving Mickey to wake up alone. 

He slowly peels back the other boy’s arms so he can get up to take a piss. He makes his way into the bathroom, not bothering to turn the lights on.

After emptying his bladder and flushing the toilet, he’s about to exit the bathroom when he notices the new additions around the sink. He moves closer to take a look. Sitting on the counter next to the sink, he sees a cup, inside sit 5 toothbrushes in a random assortment of colors with a different name on each one written in permanent marker. 

He picks up the green toothbrush with _Mickey_ written on it and smiles as he recognizes Ian’s handwriting. He puts the toothbrush back and begins to make his way out of the bathroom. 

Mickey only makes it a few steps out, _on second thought,_ he thinks and steps back into the bathroom. 

He picks up the red toothbrush with _Lip_ written on it and shoves it under his armpit, because fuck you Lip. 

**Author's Note:**

> So this is completely inspired by an episode of _How I Met Your Mother_. I rewatched it recently and couldn't get this idea out of my head.  
>  And that's how that happened.


End file.
